It was Puchiko's fault.


Wiping at Magtheridon was getting rather boring on our second visit to his collapsing citadel. Even more so after somebody thought it would be jolly hilarious to go stuff his face with some nice family dinner, and keep the other 24 people waiting for 15 minutes each. That's six hours of total wait time you hungry bastard!... But anyway, it wasn't his fault we wiped. We just plain sucked ass this week.

That's why (the logic still baffles me) we took our freshly wiped asses all the way to the Eye, in Tempest Keep. And guess what we did there!... Oh wait, the title already gave it away. Yeah, we kind of wiped at the Void Reaver. Kind of. And he even enraged a bit. Just a bit.

Oh well, at least we got to see the phoenix god Al'ar on the way there, so all was not in vain. A rather costly sightseeing tour, but I'm still looking forward to next week's raid. Who knows what raging beast will pick his putrid teeth with my shiny space-goat horns next time.

Being a Boomkin is preety sweet. You get so many options, it's sometimes overwhelming. Like being kicked out of a group for the lack of CC, or for the fact that, sooner or later, you will be bound to roll on Mage gear. And they will hate you for it, even though you dish way more damage than those scrub vending machines.

I always say, cloth is for real men. And leather is for sissies. And Enchantment Enhancement Shamans. But wearing cloth as a spellcaster, even an elven one, has its disadvantages... Just check the chat below.


Calling me a mage is a bigger insult than calling Lady Sylvanas fat. Really.

It was Puchiko's fault.


There are many ways to wipe at Magtheridon, but none so goddamn frustrating as getting ran over by not one - but two trains Burning Abysalls stomping loose, dying at the beginning of the fight, and helplessly watching the rest of the raid slowly perish, with Magtheridon left at 14%. What a glorious way to end my first day in Maggy's hellish citadel...

WTB bullets and a boomstick.

Hai gusy!
The lazy asses over at Blizzard kindly decided to update the list of terrible issues that can be encountered in-game, after Patch 2.3.2 went (a)live. A dude that goes by the nickname of Hortus and has an utterly stupid gnome avatar (stupid, gnome, these two don’t belong together in the same sentence, but who gives a crap), posted this on the official forums, hoping to enlighten the community about the serious problems each class has. So let’s check some of these “issues” out, shall we?

General:
-Male Blood Elves do not blink.

How very interesting and groundbreaking. So, it’s not like they can’t blink, it’s that they absolutely refuse to, like they were on a Japanese strike or something. I do have an idea why they don’t blink, it’s because they spend their precious time staring like retards at their female counterparts’ boobies, taking notes and pictures for future wanking material.

Environment:
-Alliance flight path between Booty Bay and Stormwind goes through a tree.

I bet those tree huggers and boy animal lovers from Green Peace reported this bug, numerous times. I even bet they chaincuffed themselves in some hippy-like manner, protesting for their “Save the Whales” nazi propaganda. Spank my dolphin, bitch.

NPC:
-It is possible for Zul'jin to perform Claw Rage improperly.

...which, obviously, leads to masturbation issues. Girls don’t like it too fast.

Classes:
Shaman
-The Shaman Talent Call of Thunder (Rank 5) is giving 2% extra crit, while ranks 1-4 only give 1% crit.
-Rockbiter Weapon's tooltip and Action Bar icon are inconsistent with the other Shaman Weapon Enhancements' tooltips and icons.

The real issue of the PvP Shaman stands right above you, in all its magical splendor. With such almighty CC and anti-CC spells, this class is obviously too powerful to be given a serious review. Maybe they should buff Warlocks a bit, who knows.

I skillfully managed to evade this crazy rumour so far, but my Vanish happens to be on cooldown right now, so I'll pretend to take the hit this time. As the story goes - and I know this may sound ridiculous - the rumours about a possible mobile version of World of Warcraft are pestering us yet again. A couple of weeks ago, some guy tipped off BlizzPlanet about a few low-res avatars, deluding himself into thinking that they were created for technologically-limited devices, such as mobile phones.

Now, Mobile Gamer further stirs the pile of bullshit rumour mill, basing their argument on some wicked smile or something...

"yesterday, we had a chance to get the official line, when Vivendi Games Mobile boss Paul Maglione was sitting in the audience for one of the panel sessions at MGF, and was asked directly about mobile World of Warcraft.
"Mobile aspects will become part of all MMOs," he replied, with a distinct smile on his face."

Umm... hello, operator? Get me the healer on the line...

While waiting for Wrath of the Lich King has opened new opportunities for the WoW community, be it cancelling accounts, seeing the light of the day for the first time in years or discovering that huge collection of porn that started gathering dust three years ago, Blizzard decided to start feeding us junkies some scattered info about what to expect from the future expansion. Now, PvE wise.

The Bestiary finally opened its gates to the humble audience, depicting two of the incoming nemesis that we will probably have to rape to death. Good ol’ grinding days for another Ding are starting to get closer and closer, and so do the minions of the Scourge. First off, we have the Nerubian Vizier, a mighty and not so friendly spider-like creature, bent on destruction and various other things. All, including death, pain, corpse running and huge repair bills. And maybe a good drop here and there, for the sake of our lousy Auction House.

Second on Blizzard’s list is the Plague Eruptor, some sort of genetic experiment made by the Lich King himself (who tends to show off his chemistry, medical and biological degrees much too often), that is labeled as one of the most feared and deadly fighting force in all of Asia the Scourge army. Well, if this Plague Eruptor is also good at wiping the bot-infested Warcraft universe of those little Chinese people that sit in a 2x2 paper box, farming leather scraps from morning till dawn, it’s fine by me.

Anyway, here is a link to the almighty Bestiary, be sure to check it once in a while for casual updates.

"Hai gusy!", shouted out Luke Johnson (WoW RPG developer) last night, after some silence on the White Wolf forums. His sudden reappearance marked the long-awaited announcement of a release date for the World of Warcraft RPG book "Dark Factions", which is now officially set for June 2008.

This follows an earlier confirmation from last week that the book was not cancelled after all, and it would indeed be released this year, since it's "currently at press and coming out shortly". As was said a couple of years ago, "[Dark Factions is] similar to the Alliance and Horde Player's Guides, but for independent races and factions. You'll see things like naga, pandaren, satyrs, the Argent Dawn, the Cult of the Damned, the Farstriders, and such".

In other news, the World of Warcraft Fan Art Gallery was updated with a gloomy piece by Romanian artist Alexandru Sabo (who did some art for the Warcards TCG), depicting the darkest of factions.

10 million... Christ, my mind hurts just thinking about the buckets of money that Blizzard & co. are receiving from such an overwhelming subscribership. But to hell with it, they deserve it! Yes, we're all pissed off at them every now and then, but at the end of the day we're still playing World of Warcraft - and so are 10 more million people around the world!

This awesome figure was just announced by Blizzard, who went on to remind us of all the "best-selling" records held by WoW and The Burning Crusade expansion. They also give a division of the game's population in the three major continents it was launched in: over 2 million subscribers in Europe, over 2.5 million in North America, and about 5.5 million in Asia.

In other news, Age of Conan was pushed back to 2009 May 2008. I keked.

Curses! Cursed be he who had the bloody brilliant idea to remove the best healing belt that badges can buy, and hide it away in some timed chest inside Zul'Aman. Now how the hell am I supposed to get it! Just when I finally managed to gather another 60 badges... And it's not like I had it written down on my heroic shopping list, planning, yearning to buy it for the last couple of months, nooo... Fuck. I'm so pissed off right now, I could take my Justice-kun and go sodomize that pedobear boss in ZA, until he coughs up my goddamn healing belt. We wants it, preciousss!

In loving memory of...

Beta testing World of Warcraft was a lot of fun back in the day, when I couldn't care less about raiding, PvP and end-game power-rangers content. I had all the time in the world to explore Azeroth inside-out, breaking the normal map limits, and finding funny references to all sorts of things - those so-called "Easter Eggs". Soon enough, there were massive lists with 'em eggs thrown on the internets, and now... three years later, people are still (re)discovering some. So behold, the hottest news of the month: there be rotten easter eggs in World of Warcraft!

"6. Linken is a gnome in Un'Goro Crater. His quest starts when you find his raft (boat) on one of the pools to the southeast. Linken gives you a photograph containing Linken and a female Gnome standing in front of Stormwind Castle.
Reference: Link and Zelda stand in front of Hyrule Castle. The female Gnome is dressed similarly to Zelda.

7. During the First Aid "Triage" quest in Hammerfall, one of the dying patients says: "Goodbye, cruel world, I'm leaving you today... goodbye... goodbye...
Reference: Pink Floyd - Lyrics from The Wall Album song: Goodbye Cruel World.
(...)

10. What Illidan Wants, Illidan Gets... is a quest given at the Bridge near Eclipse Point, Shadowmoon Valley ... Part of the Cipher of Damnation quest-chain.
Reference: Amused to Death (1992, Solo Album) - Roger Waters of Pink Floyd fame
What God Wants Part. 1"

Well point me at the sky and smack me silly with an axe, Eugene! What's next? Discovering several species of small furry animals for sale at the exotic pet vendor?